The Perfect Crime

What is my perfect crime?  I break into jail.  Yes, into jail.  Why?  To confuse the cops.  Do I go to the cells?  No.  I go for the vending machine.  I take a stale, hard muffin.  As I'm turning around someone catches me.  A cop?  Yes.  But I'm fast.  I throw the muffin at his head.  The lights go on and I realize he's attractive.  I take him to paris.  We make love all night.  I take his fuzzy converse shoes and tell him to meet me at the Plaza Hotel in Alaska.  But do I go there?  No.  I go to Madagascar.  I like the sun.   This is where the story gets interesting.  I write him a letter saying he has twin sons and I'm sending them to England.  But do I send them?  No.  I don't trust him.  Instead I send two monkeys.  He wont tell the difference.  While he is in England, I go back and break into jail again.  I want my muffin back.